do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
