i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
