my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
