hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
