Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
