Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
