So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize