wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
