just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
