Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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