so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
