and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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