shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
