My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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