Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize