when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
