no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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