I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
