i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
