We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
