At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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