Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
