Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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