When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
whose parrot is this?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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