Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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