5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
