Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize