you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize