so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
