i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
