Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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