Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i now understand why vodka
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
