i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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