she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
