Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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