i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
