The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
