Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
