No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just blew my weed a kiss
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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