I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
