I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
