Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
