i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
