I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
