I like my sex mixed with concussions.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
