You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
