and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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