And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
