you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
