Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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