I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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