did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I will be naked everywhere
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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