New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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