so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There's always time for handjobs
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
