So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
