Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
