I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
