Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
