Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
